The Sprite that is.

We got to see the little guy.
and yes - we're having a little boy. Although he won't be so little - quite large in fact. But he is a he.
And we're already smitten!

scan fail

So Austin and I went to the 20 week scan filled with anticipation. We even arrived crazy early in our eagerness.
Went into the scan room to see the little Sprite - who was asleep, curled up tight and face planted downwards. Briefly he extended a little arm and showed us a tiny fist and quickly we could count 4 fingers and a thumb. Then the woman doing the scan looked as his brain development and said "wow, big baby, big brain."
She checked along his spine but then he wiggled - didn't like the pressure.
She focused on his heart - yup all four chambers are there beating away properly. Found the kidneys but could only check function in one because of how he was lying.
And at this point we needed him to move. We wiggled the tummy - he didn't like it but didn't move. I poked the tummy and he briefly splayed his hands - I imagine he was saying "leave me ALONE mum!"
We could not get him to move. Not a bit.
so out we went. I drank some cold coke. We walked quickly round the car park. And then I ran round the car park.
Back in... and nope - he hadn't moved at all!

in fact he was so tightly tucked in and face planted that we couldn't even get a picture of him - we didn't even get to see his face let alone find out if he's a he or a she. So bummed!

but - on the up side - we get to go and try again next Monday.

nearly half way!

tomorrow. tomorrow this little Sprite will be half built. and on Monday we get to find out what paint job he'll have. very exciting.

I have been so very lucky so far with this pregnancy - not much sicky feeling, tired... not bad all in all.
but oh my goodness - the heart burn. I've gone from having one rennies once a day at the beginning of this pregnancy to having many many - and even having to have one in the middle of the night because the heartburn wakes me up. And last night I had to have 2. s
so bad. so bad!

but still - 4 more sleeps and we get to see the little guy again. and then either Austin will be smug at his prediction of a rich red paint job, or I will be smug because I'm betting it'll be a lovely blue. Either way we'll both be happy if the little guy is healthy and on track with his growth and development.

Any colour guesses?

dead. tired.

So everyone says you feel tired with pregnancy. Fine. 

What they don't say is that you know those days where you've been crazy busy all day, when you've run everywhere and done everything and at the end of the day you're bone tired ready for bed? Well, when you're pregnant that's how you feel when you START your day, so by the end of it you can't see how you can even get up enough energy to eat supper, let alone make it, or hang up the laundry or, let's face it, get upstairs to bed. 

Everyone says that your energy comes back in the second trimester. What they left out is the word "hopefully". Nearly half way through and I ain't seen none of that energy dat been promised me! 

and I still need to make 30 rat costumes this evening for our school play, make dinner, hang up laundry, mark a set of maths books.... 

They also didn't explain that when you're as tired as this, you tend to cry. I hate crying. This isn't a good evening. 

little Sprite

So here he is nearly double the size two weeks later. He kept playing hard to get, flipping over and showing us his back before we could get any photos or measurements. Hilarious little guy.
These pics are little funny looking - partly coz he wouldn't stay still for long enough, and partly coz the only ones we could get where when other things were being checked - his nasal cavity and his jaw bones. but those are his feet straight up in the air (?) on the right.

on to new things....

So quietly, secretly, I've had to stop drinking my little glass of wine with dinner.
Quietly, secretly, I've had to start moving the buttons on my jeans for a... comfier fit.
Quietly, secretly, I've been having to sleep a whole lot more than I used to, have had to buy new bras a size bigger, have developed odd feelings about food.......

Because quietly, secretly there is a Sprite growing inside me - sometimes known as The Alien when I feel like I might die.

And I'm dying for everyone to know, but also we've been really enjoying having the little secret to ourselves. So I can safely write it here because, let's be honest, I reckon I'm the only one that reads these ramblings. and so I can feel like I've told someone, but at the same time, it's still a delicious little secret....

Here he is at 10 and a half weeks.

And tomorrow we get to see him again - 13 weeks old.

Delicious, quiet little secret.

gratitude

So this week I was teaching the class how to write a proper formal letter and of course the comparison came up between letters and emails. They asked what the point was when we are frankly moving towards a situation where technology is taking over from the written word.
I told them about a TED talk that I'd seen about a young woman battling depression in New York. She started writing letters and leaving them for strangers to pick up and as the concept grew people fell in love with her idea. She let it be known that if anyone wanted a letter, she would write it. She's started her own company writing letters, encouraging people to seize opportunities, take the first step towards dreams, to step away from abuse and misery and make a positive life. And people started writing back telling her of how her letters had changed their lives. Little anonymous letters of love were sent out into the world and made such a positive difference.
The next day Lara, a very dyslexic pupil, came in with three envelopes with "to a lovely person" written on the front. I mention her dyslexia only because I know that for her to do this would have taken hours. It would have taken so much effort to get it all right and because I know she is a perfectionist I know she looked up almost every word in her personal dictionary to make sure it was spelt properly. She asked if she could go and hide them around the school.
Later I was chatting to another teacher in the library and she spotted a little envelope sticking out from between the books. I told her to open it and we read what Lara had written inside:

To a lovely person,
You are great. There is nothing you can't do if you put your mind to it.
 Be brave. 
Love from ?

It brought tears to the teacher's eyes, a woman who has been battling to come to terms with the death of her sister. A while later she came into my class to thank the anonymous person who made her smile and feel better about herself.

The next day there were more letters, from Lara and from a couple of other girls. They were hidden round the school and we watched and waited. Half way through our maths lesson, struggling with Improper Fractions, in comes one of my dearest friends - a teacher in the SEN department who is so loved by the girls. She was nearly crying.
"I have to share this with you," she said. "I found something and I don't know who it's from but I've been feeling so down and low and this letter.... I have to share it!"
She didn't have any idea it was from my class as she not been present the day before when we were discussing it in the staff room. It had touched her so much that she had to tell me about it.

Dear person,
You are beautiful! You are kind and strong. Don't let people tell you what to do. Follow you heart and your dreams and believe in yourself.
From
Your friend

Later in the playground a Year 2 pupil brought an envelope to me.
"I found this."
"well," I said, "it says it's for a lovely person. It must be for you, Cailtin."
She smiled. "If I open it can you read it to me?"
I read it to her and watched her face. Her smile was enormous. She asked if she could keep it, carefully folded it and put it in her pocket. I watched her walk away, her hand on her pocket and later I saw her sitting under the slide reading it to herself again.

The letters have touched staff and pupils alike. My class talk about writing more, giving more love to people we may never meet on trains and in the public swimming pool, the grocery shops, petrol stations....

My class may be chatty and scatty. They may never be brain surgeons or CEOs. In fact I worry about their academic tests into the nearby high schools next year. But man, those girls are the most creative, most giving children I've had the pleasure to teach. And I am so grateful that they remind me how beautiful the world is.