election fret

So most of my family are in Zimbabwe, my birthplace, the land I grew up in, yearn for, love. The place I still call home, even though I've lived in England for the past 7 years. The place that my husband and I have every intention and plan to return to.

This amazing land, full of friendly people, dusty ground, sunny skies, huge thunderstorms and rain, potholed roads, long grass, big sky. This land is on the brink again...

Elections always bring the barely controlled excitement, the what-if feeling. What if the old dictator is finally ousted. What if the economy can finally be turned around, employing people, developing basic services, making things right again. What if it all works out....


but...
We know the elections are rigged. We know the end result before any ballots have been posted. We know the people who are being paid to ensure that the ruling party stay as the ruling party.

and
We fear. We fear for the people on the ground, the people being vocal and shouting out the election atrocities, the people who dare to vote for the opposition.
We fear for the violence that is bound to occur. The army and police versus the unarmed population.
We fear for the people who will 'go missing'.

We fear for the future.

a bizarre mix of what ifs and fear. knowing it will end in disappointment anyway.

but what if?
and the fear.

yeep....

I really need to get my head around the fact that this little boy is going to be with us in about 13 weeks. I have nothing ready. The kids at school gave me a couple of bits and pieces at the end of term and I did go to to buy a couple of small baby grows. Sum total of what we have:

3 babygrows (0-3mths)
1 warmer babygrow (0-3mths)
1 hat (0-3mths)
3 pairs socks

3 babygrows (3-6 months)
1 long sleeved shirt (3-6 mths)
1 pair joggers (3-6 mths)
1 toweling babygrow (3-6mths)
3 bibs

and that's it. I don't have any idea how much more I need to get but I do know that I don't have enough for him.

The ridiculous thing is that I have 2 friends who are also pregnant - one due 7 weeks before me and one due only the day before me - and I've been spending so much time making stuff for them that I've not actually even started making anything for my little dude. I do have ideas though - minion hats, bumblebee baby grow, little dungarees, tie dye onesies... and of course I have to make him a beautiful blanket (my signature gift for everyone else who's had a baby.)

But before I can do that I need to finish the blanket for my friend due in 6 weeks and make her a quilt for her baby shower (in 2 weeks), and make a hungry caterpillar quilt for the friend due the day before me..... and I know it's going to be so last minute for my own little one. :-/ Poor little guy.